Occasionally (well rarely…er, never?) I will add something out of my prayer journal and post it for public consumption and that mood strikes me this day. A little context, if you please: my life has been a runaway roller coaster for several weeks now, running from meeting to meeting, imploding under the weight of protocols, agendas, procedures, tasks and deadlines. This push pace has fairly smothered me and I’ve begun to see life ooze from my very spirit.
I shared with a friend today that this is not the life I am wired for. At heart I am a cave-dweller, needing much alone time with the Lord in order to have order and integrity in my interior life. And so, even to the point of near rudeness to decline yet another meeting this morning, I “stole” some much-needed intimacy time with the One who, sadly, all too often gets shoved into the “to do” pile of my life.
To my delight, what I found in my holy ground place (my van, you recall) was not a miffed Potentate thumping His watch and pumping His crossed legs impatiently. He was not in a tizzy, giving the cold shoulder until just enough groveling had embarrassed us both. No, I found a Lover patiently waiting by, already coming toward me as I shyly crossed over the threshold, and just like that, we were in the moment.
I come to You to worship and praise the God of all gods and every living thing. I worship the One God who rules over all and is a Jealous Lover. The skies spread prostrate before You, the stars pulsate with the energy of Your love, the trees bow and wave to the King who rules, and the seas move in the rhythm of the One who sings over them.
You are God forever and none can compare to You. You are manna from heaven, water from the Rock, the Way through the wilderness, Rivers in the desert, the pillar of fire and cloud who goes before Your people to lead them to their Eternal Rest. You are the Eternal Shabbat and I call You Lord, Savior and Lover of my soul.
You are good and Your love endures forever! In You is ALL my soul should ever long for, pant after and need. The world and all its pleasures are passing away! All that is this “world” is opposed to You and if I am friendly with it, then I am against You. God, may this not be my enduring testimony but may I always and ever seek only after You and may the “One Thing” of my heart’s confession be to find You and be found by You. To live only for Your pleasure and awake in Your likeness.
Oh God! May Christ be fully formed in me! Oh, that I would come into the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ and that my inner man might be built up in You and may I be sanctified wholly, finished and completed and be found blameless!!!
As a bride adorned and festooned with the jewelry of righteousness (not her own), incandescent with the touch of the holy on me, wearing the fragrance of Christ, giving no doubt to all that I have been with Jesus, wrestled with You, not letting You go without Your breath to fill me inside. I declare in this moment of eternity that I want You to be my First Love without a close second. Woo me today. Seduce me and romance me! I am here, in my chambers, a virgin bride, kept and waiting for the Day of Your Arrival.
There is oil enough for the night—is there? I pray so. That’s why I come to this place of our meeting to express my heart’s yearning for You.
God, my Lord and King, I pray for ALL ties to anything that hinders me from running to Your embrace to be broken. ALL! I am so attracted and dis-tracted by passing pleasures and the siren calls of other lovers and I would not have it this way. This is why I cry for Christ to be fully formed in me—until I am so consumed by Your Life that I see through Your eyes, hear only Your voice, follow hard on Your steps and taste only Your wine and Your lips. Until I am heartsick for You, and have NO appetite except for Your Presence to linger always as close as my own breath.
I am ever Your Shulammite, struggling to turn from Solomon’s overtures because love—real love—is found in my Shepherd Lover. Solomon is relentless and greedy. He has a harem and wants to make me “one of many” but You are in pursuit of me and will spare nothing to lay hold of me, breaking even Solomon’s bewitchments and enticements so that I remain single-eyed for the True Lover of my soul.
“Arise, my darling…” You say.
“Come away with Me!” You call.
Lord, please find that place in my heart where is a sincere desire—a protected secret place—where I want and will to go away with You and truly leave all this far behind…Woo me today. Seduce and romance me! I pray You will not turn away and leave me for Solomon’s consumption.
You are a great, high and holy God! You are ever near to the cry of Your servant and faithful to accomplish all that You’ve begun and with all that Your servant cooperates with You to do. DO ME, Lord! Baptize me in the deepest waters You have! I want this old man to die away! For good! I want him to be belly-up and bloated in the Red Sea along with Pharaoh and his hapless army.
God, my King, do this and draw me into the reality of such a conquering of myself. I repent, Lord, of my own self-rule and taking the Throne when You alone have the right to rule. Reign over me, over my life, over my family! And over all I am attracted to…Reign, O Lord!
In Jesus’ Name, amen.