He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane
I am a tree —
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy
– John Mark Macmillan
If you seek Me, you will find Me
If you search with your heart…
– Jesus, via Jeremiah
Draw near to Me. I will draw near to you.
– Jesus, via James
I will never forget sitting at an outside table of an Atlanta coffee shop on a gorgeous Spring day – or was if Fall? – that part I don’t remember. What is planted into the gray matter is what I was feeling on that day.
That I had let God down.
That He might be – no, had to be – perturbed with me.
How could I have gone all these days not in the Word? Time enough for movies (I was across the avenue from my favorite theater) and reading novels of suspense, but for Him?
Let’s just say it had been awhile.
I got out my journal, pens and highlighters and carefully laid them beside my open Bible. Before I jumped in with haste and the gusto to “make up for lost time” I felt impressed to ask:
What do you think about me, Lord?
You see, I was shrinking inside, like someone who has no business approaching God but dares try. I tell you, it was all pretty tentative. But I did have the distinct sense I was to approach Him straight-on, minus any wussiness. I was getting the impression He was delighted I came. And asked such an open-ended question.
I didn’t have long to wait. Didn’t have to grovel. Just asked –
– and was answered:
“I am protective of you.”
A few beats. Then:
“I am jealous for you.”
Maybe you’re thinking I had listened to “How He Loves” on my iPod and that lyric was playing in my head. I tell you no. This was a year or two before I had ever heard the song.
I heard…Him. And He had me dead-to-rights.
The message was…healing. Empowering. Cleansing.
I had laid out the wares of devotion but had little expectation I would be meeting with the King over His creation that day. (now I remember…it was early Spring) I assumed He would be distant. Non-communicative. I fully anticipated a futile, feeble exercise, but I came because I wanted to close the gap.
Been a long time for you?
I can’t promise the exact same payback, but I tell you: He’s waiting. He’s near.
And He has something to tell you. Just ask. And listen.